Meds Diaries Part 7

My group therapy’s been pushed back a week. THat’s not the issue however – the issue is me applying to become a freelance writer for a website that writes about TV/Movies etc. The thing is, I don’t have enough experience as a article writer to apply.

And even then, that’s not the issue – the issue is coming up with something cool enough to submit.

I’m gonna see if I can come up with something quick now so I have something to help keep me busy during the summer – wish me luck!


The Meds Diaries 6

Dear WordPress,

It’s been a long week. I still  can’t take sass apparently. Or rather I can’t take off hand comments like “Oh, if you don’t have it, then what’s this?” 

I swear I’ve had this job long enough to know when to check for products I’m not sure we have but apparently not.

I am still kicking myself, but the urge is so much more greatly diminished than it possibly could have. Not 2 months ago, this would be affecting me for a week. But there’s no use dwelling. 

It happened once. That’s it. It was one mistake and there is no need for me to do anything stupid based on this one thing.

Anyways. It’s April. It’s been nonstop nonstop everything.

I get to take a video game course starting next month. I potentially get more hours (please) and LA in June. I am super stoked.

This is exhausting but I will manage.

Thank you for reading.

the Meds Diaries

Dear WordPress,

I am feeling low today. While me feeling low isn’t a new thing, I am feeling lower than usual.

I missed my Computer Science class today.  It’s a lab, so it ‘s not like I’m missing anything except I am.

What I am missing is time. Time to do homework, time to catch up, time to get my shit back together, time to actually plan what I want to do every day.

I am ambling and I don’t know what to do with myself.  (Tomorrow, the voices say. Tonight. You can manage everything tonight they say)

The voices lie and I am lost.

The Meds Diaries

I may have found myself a new job.

I am terrified but also super excited. I was super nervous about it all last night.

I have been at my current job for a year and a half. I am so nervous to leave, if at all. It’s my first stable job in ages and it’s paid better than any other job I’ve had.

I told myself this year that I would keep trying new things, and this is the first biggest opportunity that I’ve had to move on.

I am super nervous because I want to try something new, I want to push myself to apply for jobs I may be underqualified for, I want to learn new things.

But then there’s also school. Albeit, once this semester is over, I won’t be going back to school until September, but still.

I still want to have a job come September. Albeit, I can always find something new, I can always reapply at Whole Foods, but still.

Maybe I’m thinking too far ahead. Maybe I’m playing it safe.

If I get this job, I think I’ll take it. It’ll be worth it for sure.

Thank you for reading WordPress.




The Meds Diaries

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - a treatment that helps people with mental
illnesses understand how to identify and potentially prevent their negative 
thoughts from influencing their behaviours and thus leading a better and 
happier life.

I have a therapy group starting in a few weeks and cognitive behavioural therapy will be used to help us manage our thoughts and all that jazz, so fingers crossed this will actually work.

Of course, this involves actually keeping track of our feelings and emotions, which I feel is going to be difficult because I personally get put off by the littlest things.

That, of course, will then proceed to affect the rest of my day, even if I recognize that I shouldn’t feel that way about it.

So. Well, we’ll see how it goes. Maybe this will help me be more organized. Maybe I should be starting that now (I’m not. There’s so much to do, and I have so little energy to do it with.)

Fingers crossed.

Thanks for reading WordPress.



The Meds Diary 2

Dear Diary,

It’s March 22nd 2017 and whilst it still feels like the end of finals is a million miles away, it’s actually all done for me in a little over a month.

Meanwhile, my generalized anxiety disorder has been mixed in with a side of depression (this might have been in my last update) and I have group therapy starting in a little less than a month as well.

Now, group therapy. Many of you might be thinking: “Oh group therapy, gods. I have to talk to people. I have to tell them everything. 

I’m not sure this is going to be like that. I went to an orientation yesterday and the doctors we’ll be working with have insisted us not telling them everything, for privacy reasons.

Which I get. I’d probably tell my mom or my sister about some of the things someone else said during that group if they said. Which would be disrespectful, in any case.

So. That’s good. I wouldn’t want anything I say that’s extremely personal to get out to other people’s family anyway. Anyways. Yes. I have group therapy starting next month.

And one of the things that we’ll be working on is cognitive behavioral therapy, which I was thinking about doing in a personal notebook of my own.

But I also have a blog. And I also think if I do this online, it would be beneficial for me. I might run into other people online who are going through something similar. It might motivate me into actually thinking more positively.

It might help me….I don’t know how it might help me. But it might. And I might as well start practicing.

Thank you for reading wordpress.

See you next time.