The Meds Diaries 6

Dear WordPress,

It’s been a long week. I still  can’t take sass apparently. Or rather I can’t take off hand comments like “Oh, if you don’t have it, then what’s this?” 

I swear I’ve had this job long enough to know when to check for products I’m not sure we have but apparently not.

I am still kicking myself, but the urge is so much more greatly diminished than it possibly could have. Not 2 months ago, this would be affecting me for a week. But there’s no use dwelling. 

It happened once. That’s it. It was one mistake and there is no need for me to do anything stupid based on this one thing.

Anyways. It’s April. It’s been nonstop nonstop everything.

I get to take a video game course starting next month. I potentially get more hours (please) and LA in June. I am super stoked.

This is exhausting but I will manage.

Thank you for reading.

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the Meds Diaries

Dear WordPress,

I am feeling low today. While me feeling low isn’t a new thing, I am feeling lower than usual.

I missed my Computer Science class today.  It’s a lab, so it ‘s not like I’m missing anything except I am.

What I am missing is time. Time to do homework, time to catch up, time to get my shit back together, time to actually plan what I want to do every day.

I am ambling and I don’t know what to do with myself.  (Tomorrow, the voices say. Tonight. You can manage everything tonight they say)

The voices lie and I am lost.

Anxiety

You know the feeling where you get so ridiculously anxious over such little things that you just…

Sometimes I feel like it’s not real. Like I’m making it up for attention.
Like, today I crossed the street while reading a book and someone told me “Really? You’re crossing the street.”

It’s a valid comment and I really should have been looking where I was going but today was a day for reading and enjoying myself and ignoring the world around me and for relaxing and now here I am.

Still not over it.

There’s clearly something wrong. 

I’m going crazy.

Time for a check in with the family doctor maybe.