Staying healthy

Dear WordPress,

I went for a 9 km run today which was really cool. Now to some of you, that may seem like a lot or really little, but for me…

For me it was perfect. It’s the best I’ve felt in a long time. This is the best I’ve felt in a long time. There will be definitely be more hour plus long runs in the future for me.

Especially before school starts. There’s a lot of tension I’d like to diffuse before I’d start school, and it’s hard when I’ve got a job dialogue to worry about.

Not that I’m complaining about having to talk about all the things I can work on whilst at work, it’s just nerve wrecking.

I feel like I should be far more nervous about school than a job dialogue. Oh well. I’m sure I’ll be alright.

But on the bright side, an hour long run today was nice, there will be yoga for me tomorrow morning and then another run on Tuesday and hopefully my papers for my dialogue will be all filled out by the end of the evening and everything I’m worried about that’s work related will be done by the end of the month.

I will be fine.

 

Thanks for reading wordpress!

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Anxious and overwhelmed

Dear wordpress.

Today I am feeling even more anxious and overwhelmed than normal.

One of the youtubers that I watch on a semi regular basis has recently said that going to school for a creative medium isn’t the best idea because they’re not going to care about me, just about the most recent creative work that I’ve done.

And as an aspiring artist who really hasn’t started much or done much in terms of discovering who I am as a writer or potential film maker, this really hurts.

Like I legitimately don’t know where I’m going.

As a fan watching movies and tv shows, I tune in best with the emotions of a character, especially if said emotions are very strong.

This stems from me being rooted deep in my emotions.I tend to feel things and feel them so strongly it’s paralyzing.

I also can’t seem to separate the anxiety and the calm very well.

That’s gonna read so weird. Even now as I calm down, that reads weird.

I just… I’ll get so caught up in what other people say that I forget that whatever it is I have planned for the future will be my experience and no one else’s.

Everyone else’s experience does not apply to me.

I’ll make of this… something. I just..I can never separate the hysteria from the calm logic..

I dunno. When the hysteria gets high and I try and calm down, nothing gets through. I’ll do the wrong thing even though I know it isn’t.

My brain’s gone wonky.

Like…I feel like if I had at least one regular yoga class or boxing class ( which I do) to do a week, I’ll manage better.

But it’s a matter of following through and that I could never do

Until next time.

Feeling angsty and overwhelmed

Dear wordpress,

Maybe overwhelmed isn’t quite the right word but I’m feeling an awful lot everything so maybe it’s overly amount of…

So maybe overwhelmed is the right word after all.

I’m getting frustrated over little things that I shouldn’t be frustrated about and over things I could handle better but it’s hard when half the time I’ve barely got enough energy to do anything.

Part of me thinks that it’s because I don’t actually do enough exercise to keep me energized and eat enough veggies to do so

But then one can sick of eating guacamole veggie wraps every week.

I will stick with it for now, see how it goes.

And I will actually have enough money this week to buy things for my wrap so hopefully that’ll mean more veggies and energy to manage all the negativity better.

Life is rough

See you soon WordPress