So, it is officially back to school time and as of December I will be at this for a year straight and I am already freaking out.
Of course, this feels like nothing new because I am anxious all the time but still. It’s only day one and my anxiety is already through the fucking roof (this isn’t good, it can’t be good, I have two jobs that I have to figure out and school to manage and lunch to manage and being healthy to manage and I swear to god I’m already going to go insane before the week is up.
I can not be this extreme (3 courses, 2 jobs – one early morning, one late night) and survive and expect myself to come out sane at the end of it (I won’t.)
I have a lot of good things going on for me right now, I have the potential to do great this semester, but I can not do it all at once. I have desires to pay off my credit cards (this will take a couple more years) and I just… I’ve made mistakes I shouldn’t have and I did and I regret them and now I feel like I am going to die.
Not that I intend to, but I sure feel like doing so.
Until next time.
It’s been a long week. I still can’t take sass apparently. Or rather I can’t take off hand comments like “Oh, if you don’t have it, then what’s this?”
I swear I’ve had this job long enough to know when to check for products I’m not sure we have but apparently not.
I am still kicking myself, but the urge is so much more greatly diminished than it possibly could have. Not 2 months ago, this would be affecting me for a week. But there’s no use dwelling.
It happened once. That’s it. It was one mistake and there is no need for me to do anything stupid based on this one thing.
Anyways. It’s April. It’s been nonstop nonstop everything.
I get to take a video game course starting next month. I potentially get more hours (please) and LA in June. I am super stoked.
This is exhausting but I will manage.
Thank you for reading.
Well, I survived my first week at college
I’m only taking three courses this semester, which is fine enough – It’s so much more than I thought it would be.
Especially my History class – keeping in mind it’s a second year course. There’s gonna be twice as much reading.
I don’t know how it’s gonna turn out but I think I’ll manage. It’s only the first week after all.
I’m hoping…I don’t know what I’m hoping. I’m definitely aiming to be healthy though.
Being healthy and doing my best is what’s most important right now. I have school and work to think of and balance right now, so I’m hoping everything works out fine.
I am determined to make it so. All my courses are ones I am excited to take and to continue pursuing.
ESPECIALLY the Creative Writing.
Thanks for reading WordPress!
All the best
I’ve recently remembered how easy it is to forget why I start doing things like these.
It’s mostly for myself.
I write blogs because it’s fun. I write blogs because I want to remember.
I want to make videos because I want to remember how good it feels to do the things I do ( which most days, is not much ).
That’s not to say that I have a lot of bad days. I just have a lot of neutral days where things don’t often stand out.
But then, most days I spend trying to figure out how to make the day productive. Most of it is taking care of myself or doing laundry or trying to schedule meet ups with friends.
Most recently, I’ve been trying to figure out what my extra curricular schedule is gonna look like during school.
So far I’ve gotten down to wake up at 5:45 am, have breakfast and slowly wake up, and then at aroumd 7 or 8am walk to school.
As my morning classes start at 8:30 and 9:30 am respectively on Monday – Thursday, I’d prefer to be as awake as humanely possible when I get there.
Not to mention the exercise will be great.
All these things I am doing for me.
I just…I may have forgotten that recently. Taking care of myself is important. Let’s hope this is gonna help me get there.